Widow for a Season: Finding
Your Identity in Christ
Chapter Four: A Twist on Trust
Many times our words of comfort for those we see suffering in trial are
just to trust in the Lord. But what
does that mean in practical application for the widow.
There are so many difficult decisions and situations to deal with as a
widow and often God seems to be invisible.
We wonder if He really cares that we don’t have enough money for this
weeks groceries or that our toilet is plugged.
This chapter is about how to put feet and practical application to the
simple concept of trusting in the Lord. Many
candid experiences as well as humorous stories are shared here.
Four - A Twist on Trust
A Tested Trust
one thing that has made all difference in my struggle with the unexpected
loss of my husband is something a godly man shared with me early in my
husband’s illness. His advice was simple—“Just trust in God.” That
is the only advice he would ever give me! It was like listening to a
broken record every time he counseled me.
I wanted to scream, “But that just isn’t doing the job! It
isn’t enough!” I am thankful now that he just kept directing me back
to the Lord by living his faith out before me.
He had to know my faith was weak, but trusting God would be the
only source of lasting power.
I had never experienced anything that so tested my ability to trust
God, as did the untimely death of my husband. I would pray and confess
that I trusted Him, but there was no comfort or peace in my heart. Fear
convinced me that I had lost my way. I was desperate for control, but I
was trying to control all the wrong things. There were days when I
couldn’t convince myself that my husband wasn’t just gone
temporarily—like on a business trip or on Guard duty. He would be home
soon. On other days I felt as if he were someone I had only imagined, and
he never really existed. I’m sure I went through many stages of grief. I
prayed and cried a lot. Nothing seemed familiar in my upside-down world. I
didn’t know who I was anymore, and I didn’t know what I was supposed
to be doing with myself everyday. I woke up every morning, but when I
looked in the mirror I didn’t see anyone looking back. It was like I had vanished, but where did I
In an effort to encourage me people would
say, “Just trust in the
Lord.” I thought of these words as cliché—it was what Christians said
to one another in hard times. I
had quipped similar words to others myself, but felt insulted by them now.
Tagging the admonition to “trust in the Lord” as cliché,
however, waters down the importance of its message.
Over and over in Scripture God’s admonition to those
facing impossible challenges was always “Trust in me.”
His own example suggests that these are the most powerful words we
can utter. What makes us
angry about these words is the challenge they place on our faith.
They expose a weak relationship with Christ when we are unable to
find strength in them. But
when the funeral is over and the dust has settled, we are eventually alone
with God, and the truth about our relationship with Him is unavoidable.
Although I had been seeking to walk by faith my entire Christian
life, the death of my husband drove me to develop my trust at a deeper
level. That deeper trust
would begin with a new promise.
Isaiah 54:5-6 says:
not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou
confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame; for thou shalt forget the
shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood
any more. For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD
of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of
the whole earth shall He be called (KJV).